thinking and listening sounds talk here

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

thoughts and songs for thoughts and thoughts for songs and songs

EVYERHTING IS SOO OCRING ESO CRINGE IT SO CRINGE HELP EHLPE HE LPKEHEIFODJKSHRUEIFDCVXIHUIREFDSHINJEFW1QSDJPIOLFQDC

what am i doing?

it is longing's cousin

i cant explain it

what do i feel,

and why do i askfor help?

is it not all wtihin me?

i dont know the lines ,

boundaries

i wish something would come to help me

even if it is only in my head

What am I doing?

Am I getting bad again?

do i make sense to you?

i tear things with my hands

anything i get hold of, and

what im told to let go of

i fail to return in one piece

how do i find the unmet need?

a tension and release

no, a coming to and coming forth

or reaching or retracting

but it is all cyclical

there are so many thoughts i dont actually agree with

but who am i to argue the thoughts?

why would i argue with myself?

but the thoughts already argue themselves

how many parts of me are there?

i see the lines like of a tangerine

a mixture of thought and guidance

is there a balance?

do integration and separation exist?

i giv eup

nvm

__-___SPLITS_-

it is not right

is (?)

another

it’s simultaneously a growing population and a merging of parts

a shrinkage and a burgeoning (?)

i never could have pictured this

if not me, then what?

i am no longer letting myself drift

trusting myself is the only way

choosing to accept the outside into reality is different than allowing infiltration

shrug

debating destruction and change

i wish everything reaches everything i want to reach and i want to feel that and know it for sure and i wish swihs ish ishw ishw ihswiwishwi si couldSTOP TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAN D STOP EXPLAINING AND TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND NO ONE WILL EVER!!!! IT ONLY KEEPS HURTING!

i cant be who i want to be i dont know who i want ot be i dont know who i am i dont know what i want i dont know what it is

'' i can deal with some psychic pain ''

i do not like the relaizations i come to after questioning why things are not getting better or chanigng when i feel like i am thinking or doing all the right htings

on some odd level

it is difficult to describe - .maybe realizing there is no “thing” that i have to impress

and show im worthy of feeling “better” but im not so sure i feel completely bad so why then would i deserve to feel better aanwyay? it’s hard to figure out which is the problem

i wish i could organize these things or let myself do so surely parts of me sees value in not doing that

half of me is glued and the rest of me sticks

im sorry im like this

lLOL soooos orry so apologdtic amm soooooooooo sos os o oso so oooo sorry [ so fucking stupid ] -----

nothing else to do

nothing of substance to sya????lololololololol

'UHH--- UHHHH!!!!! TANGLED UP IN LUOOOVVVEEE!!! BUT I WASNT TANGLED UP IN BLUE S... NO WWAYY!!! I WAS TANGLED UP IN L OAAUAVVVVV!!!!!''

everythings funny lately . maybes thats good

'UHHHU UHHH TANGLED UP IN LOAUAAVVV!'

its jst bc im weak and a baby and have no discipline and none if it is chemicals or some greater thing abt consciousness but then wh t to do ????? lol

i dont care for or see value in sharing my "thoguhts" anymoire so not sure why i amm here