thoughts and songs for thoughts and thoughts for songs and songs
EVYERHTING IS SOO OCRING ESO CRINGE IT SO CRINGE HELP EHLPE HE LPKEHEIFODJKSHRUEIFDCVXIHUIREFDSHINJEFW1QSDJPIOLFQDC
what am i doing?
it is longing's cousin
i cant explain it
what do i feel,
and why do i askfor help?
is it not all wtihin me?
i dont know the lines ,
or
boundaries
i wish something would come to help me
even if it is only in my head
What am I doing?
Am I getting bad again?
do i make sense to you?
i tear things with my hands
anything i get hold of, and
what im told to let go of
i fail to return in one piece
how do i find the unmet need?
a tension and release
no, a coming to and coming forth
or reaching or retracting
but it is all cyclical
?
there are so many thoughts i dont actually agree with
but who am i to argue the thoughts?
why would i argue with myself?
but the thoughts already argue themselves
..
how many parts of me are there?
i see the lines like of a tangerine
a mixture of thought and guidance
is there a balance?
do integration and separation exist?
i giv eup
nvm
__-___SPLITS_-
it is not right
is (?)
another
it’s simultaneously a growing population and a merging of parts
a shrinkage and a burgeoning (?)
i never could have pictured this
if not me, then what?
i am no longer letting myself drift
trusting myself is the only way
choosing to accept the outside into reality is different than allowing infiltration
shrug
debating destruction and change
i wish everything reaches everything i want to reach and i want to feel that and know it for sure and i wish swihs ish ishw ishw ihswiwishwi si couldSTOP TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAN D STOP EXPLAINING AND TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND NO ONE WILL EVER!!!! IT ONLY KEEPS HURTING!
'' i can deal with some psychic pain ''
i do not like the relaizations i come to after questioning why things are not getting better or chanigng when i feel like i am thinking or doing all the right htings
on some odd level
it is difficult to describe - .maybe
realizing there is no “thing” that i have to impress
and show im worthy of feeling “better”
but im not so sure i feel completely bad
so why then would i deserve to feel better aanwyay?
it’s hard to figure out which is the problem
i wish i could organize these things
or let myself do so
surely parts of me sees value in not doing that
half of me is glued and the rest of me sticks
im sorry im like this
lLOL soooos orry so apologdtic amm soooooooooo sos os o oso so oooo sorry [ so fucking stupid ] -----
nothing else to do
nothing of substance to sya????lololololololol
'UHH--- UHHHH!!!!! TANGLED UP IN LUOOOVVVEEE!!! BUT I WASNT TANGLED UP IN BLUE S... NO WWAYY!!! I WAS TANGLED UP IN L OAAUAVVVVV!!!!!''
everythings funny lately . maybes thats good
'UHHHU UHHH TANGLED UP IN LOAUAAVVV!'
its jst bc im weak and a baby and have no discipline and none if it is chemicals or some greater thing abt consciousness but then wh t to do ????? lol
i dont care for or see value in sharing my "thoguhts" anymoire so not sure why i amm here
so much mistrust for my space even though its my own and idont have the receptors to feel a home
i can see the light in the shape of a string with thorns
underneath and separated but consumed by its blanket
